Verbal Abuse and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Words that Cause War Trauma

By verbal abuse, scientists mean “scolding, cursing, yelling, blaming, insulting, threatening, ridiculing, humiliating and criticizing” others.1 In their own words, over sixty percent of all parents use verbal aggression towards their children.

Among verbal aggression, scientists also count symbolic aggression, such as, for example, slamming a door shut in...

The Message of Violence

A Conspiracy Against Children

The message violence sends is that we may use violence ourselves as a means to ‘correct’ others who don’t do what we want. Not without reason, from an early age, beaten children pass on the violence they experience to their own brothers and sisters. Hitting hurts, but later in life, the effects of emotional and verbal violence cause greatest psychological problems.

The Invention of Authoritarian Parenting

How the Fourth Commandment Puts Children at a Disadvantage

Newborn babies love their parents unconditionally, but they don’t always naturally receive back the love they give. Under normal conditions, that wouldn’t be much of a problem if society fulfilled its corrective function to call parents who abuse their children to order. Reality, however, proves otherwise.

The Effect of Emotional Abuse

The Blows that Damage One's Self-Image

More than physical abuse, emotional maltreatment damages a child’s self-image, because it communicates a stronger message of negative worth than a smack or a kick.1 Parents sabotage their child’s self-worth by “blaming it, belittling it, humiliating it, intimidating it, terrorizing it [and] secluding it.”2...

Unconditional Positive Regard

Being Loved for Who You Are

Conditional love promises the child love, but dangles it before its eyes like the carrot and stick before a donkey until it meets the right ‘conditions’. Conditional love threatens with “the withdrawal of love when [the child] does not obey”, a powerful weapon in the hands of parents to make the child exhibit desired behavior.1

As a consequence thereof,...

The Myth of Violence in the Media

The Only Way to Learn Violence Is by First Experiencing It Yourself as a Victim

The deadly assaults American teenagers committed against their classmates, such as Kip Kinkel at Thurston High School, and Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold at Columbine, shocked many in the Western world and outside. Each time after such tragedies, we lean in great detail about the shooters’ personal lives, but the true motives, as well as the true causes for those motives, often remain meticulously hidden from public view.

Return to Freedom (2015)

A Traveler's Thoughts on Life, Love and the Fate of the World

Return to Freedom

A collection of half-finished thoughts on the meaning of love, money and wealth, the self and other, the search for humanity, good versus evil, living in cities, and the fate of the world.

Life’s unfair. An innocent traffic victim that ended up in a wheelchair may wonder each night, “Why me?” But perhaps life deals each the blows we can take, because no one else could. Life chose us for a reason. At some point in their lives, those that took the biggest blows will learn they have become the...

The Darkness at the Bottom of the Soul

Understanding the Four Mechanisms that Drive People to Suicide

At some point in our lives, we may all experience a minor depression, for example after a death in the family, or when we fail to pass an exam. To most people, a light depression is short-lived, but victims of child maltreatment can suffer negative thoughts about themselves, others and the world around them a whole life long. Without professional help, they can’t heal.

Freedom as a Physical Property of the Universe

Things that grow never become more equal, only less equal. Since the inception of the universe, stars did not come to resemble each other more over time, but less. From its birth, an organism’s organs don’t converge in form and function, but diverge. As people age, their individual resumes end up differing more from one another, not less. Since the beginning of history, human culture and identity did not become more of the...

On the Question of Being Born Good or Evil

On the question of whether people are born good or evil, the answer is, “competent”. Man—the species—is born competently equipped for his survival. To be “born good” therefore refers not to man, but to his environment, namely to be born in an abundant environment in which there is room for growth. To be “born bad” means to be born in a restrictive environment in which the survival of one comes at anothers’ expense.

For example, in a hypothetical environment with a carrying capacity of precisely X...