The Hollywood Dilemma

Why American Notions of Diversity Fail Globally

With aging white demographics less interested in bringing their cash to the box office, how can Hollywood’s film industry survive in a globalized world? How might Hollywood compete with emerging film industries and moviegoer markets in China, India, Eastern Europe, the Arab world and Africa?

Apparently, Hollywood has decided to ‘diversify’ its American casts in hopes of appealing to ‘minority’ audiences worldwide. From Skyfall’s first black Ms. Moneypenny to an all-out anti-white smorgasbord in Disney’s Star Wars: Rogue One, Hollywood has proactively begun catering to non-white audiences.

But the shift towards more inclusive and racially diverse films will fail outside of progressive America’s tiny bubble. Hollywood producers simply don’t understand the rest of the world. For example: Asians, Arabs and Africans are just as racist and misogynistic as white people. The only thing progressing in America appears to be a disassociation from reality.

If Hollywood schmucks really wanted to produce Star Wars films for global audiences, they should ditch the ‘progressive’ narrative. Instead, Hollywood should produce different versions of each movie specifically tailored for each major civilization, and each with 100% ethnic casts:

Star Wars for Chinese Audiences

Chinese people are racist patriarchs. They don’t identify with the Rebel Alliance, but with the Empire. Like Donald Trump, Chinese audiences can imagine the Emperor ordering the construction of an intergalactic wall to keep our the Space Mongols.

Star Wars for Muslim Audiences

Muslims are racist patriarchs too. Star Wars for Muslims should not include any female actresses, unless they are non-Muslims who play the role of whores. The film’s focus should be on Muslim tribes fighting other tribes, and each other. Muslims hate the American Empire, but still like to migrate there.

Star Wars for Eastern European Audiences

Star Wars for Eastern Europeans should be about rebels living in the Socialist Empire who escape to a competing Capitalist Empire. Eastern Europeans are racist, patriarch Christians; the cast should be 100% Christian and white.

Star Wars for African Audiences

This version of Star Wars should be about African “rebels” applying for asylum in the Empire, followed by disorganized protests for more welfare. Africans, too, are racist and patriarch.

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The Hollywood Dilemma by Mathijs Koenraadt is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.